Sufferer Navigating Depressing Life Transitions and Seeking Healing

[healingnow123]

Hey! Just wanted to post an intro. Maybe someone can relate. Yeah, childhood was unbearable. It was so confusing, painful, stressful, infuriating, depressing, shameful, exhausting, unbearable. And then college left me so disappointed (had to switch to an easy degree, due to lack of focus) and then after graduating (and being distracted from an unhealthy relationship) realized I had very little options and would make little money. It was an extremely depressing wake up call. Made me think that I had ruined my life, and my future looked so bleak and depressing. I really didn't want to be poor. That was incredibly depressing to me. TBH this led to me not wanting to live anymore. I felt like I had worked so hard and had been let down so badly. But... God woke me up. Specifically, He used testimonies of hell to help me wake up and stop thinking so much about worldly success and comfort/stability from money.

Most of all I was upset about the housing options I could afford and the lack of ability to afford travel.

There's more to the story, and I'm still struggling with addiction (sugar, alcohol, scrolling on phone, binging shows). But I have started asking myself how I'm doing, and inviting all "parts" of myself to speak each day (which is a trick I recently relearned in an internal family systems therapy book). But yeah, i currently drink too much but am able to hold down a job. I am praying for more healing and I think I should join AA. Not sure. I thought I could just drink to try to unleash some hidden trauma and cry it away, but it's been a year of drinking almost every day in excess. And from recent bloodwork it seems like my liver is showing some signs of issues. Irregular levels of some sort, relating to liver function. Yeah, it's also just not helping that much.

What actually helps is talking to myself and asking how I'm doing and if there's something from memories that I'd like to address, like King David spoke to his soul in the book of Psalms. I feel like I'm a bad witness in some ways, and I hope this post doesn't cause anyone to falter. I would really appreciate prayer if any Christians see this. I also am more certain that it's important for me to join AA or ACoA group.

 

[Riley Jones]

Hi there, thank you for sharing your story and being so open about the challenges you've faced. It sounds like you have been through a lot, and I want to acknowledge your courage in reaching out.

It's absolutely okay to feel overwhelmed by past experiences and the current struggles you are facing. Many aspects of your journey resonate with others who have also navigated trauma and its effects on their lives. I'm glad to hear that you're considering seeking support through AA or ACoA groups, as connecting with others who understand your journey can be incredibly beneficial.

Talking to yourself and exploring the different parts of yourself, as you mentioned trying through internal family systems therapy, is a great step towards self-understanding and healing. It's essential to acknowledge these parts of yourself and work towards integrating them in a healthy way.

While self-reflection is a valuable tool, seeking professional help, like joining AA or ACoA, is crucial in addressing addiction issues and supporting your overall well-being. Remember, you don't have to face these challenges alone, and there are resources available to help you through this journey.

On myptsd.com, you can find specific forums dedicated to addiction, mental health, and coping strategies related to trauma. These forums provide a safe space for individuals to share experiences, seek advice, and connect with others who may have had similar experiences.

Remember, you are not alone, and reaching out for support is a powerful step towards healing and growth. Please take care of yourself, and know that there are people who understand and are here to support you.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the community:)

I also am more certain that it's important for me to join AA or ACoA group.

Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on, and this might be a good place to start. Hopefully this forum helps too:)

 

[Anitza]

Welcome! Life is hard... harder for people that come from brown homes. Currently deep-diving in all of the ways that my extremely stressful childhood home left my nervous system a total wreck so yeah I get not being able to focus and living up to your potential. I didn't get serious about trauma recovery until a couple of years ago at 40 and it's a bitch but holding out hope that healing will come and I'll be able to experience life in ways I haven't before. Definitely drank my share, still do at times but seriously trying to moderate. The hangovers make me feel even darker. I say try anything that calls your attention, if that's AA for right now, check that out and see if you connect. Wishing you some much deserved peace tonight

 

[Bindy]

Hope and pray for the true beauty that is you and around you. Prayers for your safe and peaceful recovery.

 

[Anitza]

Meant to say *Broken homes! But definitely Freudian Slip rings true too!

Welcome! Life is hard... harder for people that come from brown homes. Currently deep-diving in all of the ways that my extremely stressful childhood home left my nervous system a total wreck so yeah I get not being able to focus and living up to your potential. I didn't get serious about trauma recovery until a couple of years ago at 40 and it's a bitch but holding out hope that healing will come and I'll be able to experience life in ways I haven't before. Definitely drank my share, still do at times but seriously trying to moderate. The hangovers make me feel even darker. I say try anything that calls your attention, if that's AA for right now, check that out and see if you connect. Wishing you some much deserved peace tonight

 

[arfie]

hello healingnow. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I thought I could just drink to try to unleash some hidden trauma and cry it away

i have 3 sisters who plied this philosophy for long enough to reach end-stage alcoholism (not pretty) where they traded in their booze bottles for the geriatric strength pill bottles. i haven't tried this approach, myself, but? ? ? to each their own.

What actually helps is talking to myself and asking how I'm doing and if there's something from memories that I'd like to address, like King David spoke to his soul in the book of Psalms.

i see my journaling as a similar form of talking to myself similar to what king david used to write his book of songs(psalms). however, it was an add-on more than a replacement for outside support. in my own case, my mind is not a safe neighborhood to travel alone. i take traveling companions whenever possible.

I would really appreciate prayer if any Christians see this.

if you accept prayers from non-christians, prayers in progress. hope healing happens here. welcome aboard.