Desperate need for inpatient/residential in the US

[Rebecca A 99223]

I’m at my absolute rock bottom and BEGGING for help. I have so much trauma from my upbringing that has consumed every single aspect of my life and shaped me as a person and I cannot do this by myself anymore. I can’t hold a job, friends, significant other, to the point where I truly have NO supports even at my absolute lowest.

My parents emotionally abused and neglected me - they have never been a source of comfort or support, ever, which is why I moved out at the end of 2014 at 19. I completely cut them and my emotionally abusive siblings out in 2019 after they ripped me apart for calling out our parents for their abuse. My parents had 9 kids but had absolutely no intention of raising and nurturing us - we were not to be seen or heard, have wants, needs, or any type of identity, and solely existed to serve them without question. We were almost identical to the Turpin family, minus being physically restrained or outright starved (we hardly left the house tho as they homeschooled us in order to control us and heavily restricted what foods we COULD eat).

I’ve truly done it all over the last decade: individual therapy, medications, brief inpatient after an attempt (which I left less than 2 days later because of how traumatizing and NON therapeutic it was), IOP, TMS. NOTHING has helped. I literally work in crisis response for mental health but still can’t stop this destructive, excruciating cycle of self destructive behaviors and unconsciously destroying any and all relationships. But I rant too much which leads to people dismissing me.

Please, PLEASE, share your experiences or recommendations of pretty much ANY form of (up to date) information about inpatient/residential trauma programs geared specifically towards people who have been suffering for years and NEED to be rehabilitated essentially to relearn everything on how to be a healthy, happy person whose trauma doesn’t impact every aspect of their life.

I’ve been doing research for months and heard great things about The New Orleans Institute at River Oaks hospital - but I’ve been calling and leaving VMs for weeks and NO ONE has responded. Are they still operating or closed down? I’ve also heard of McLean but their inpatient program is way too short for me, Sheppard Pratt but it looks like you have to be evaluated in person less than 24 hours before they decide if they’ll accept you, Dominion Hospital’s complex trauma disorders program (haven’t seen any issues yet), and The Refuge a place for healing, which countless reviews have said doesn’t actually help at all and they try to trap you into staying for 6+ months in order to bleed you dry.

Please, does anyone have personal experience on which programs actually help? Or if there’s others I haven’t explored? Please, I am so ridiculously desperate.

I’m almost 30 and can never say I’ve truly enjoyed my life. I live in WA state but am willing to go anywhere in the U.S. if it’ll actually help. However please keep in mind that it’s just me, I quite literally have no familial or any types of supports, have only $30k to my name (and no source of income), and won’t have private insurance anymore in 12 weeks (provided I get approved for FMLA). Please help - I can’t go on like this

 

[Sideways]

Please, does anyone have personal experience on which programs actually help?

For self destructive behaviours? DBT. Which is available without the need inpatient.

It will take time. But it’s the evidence-based therapy directed specifically at self-destructive behaviours and emotional dysregulation.

 

[Friday]

For self destructive behaviours? DBT. Which is available without the need inpatient.

It will take time. But it’s the evidence-based therapy directed specifically at self-destructive behaviours and emotional dysregulation.

^^^ THIS^^^

If you aren’t familiar with DBT, or are only familiar with the modified version used across the rainbow of disorders with dysregulation as a component @Rebecca A 99223 ?

It includes +6mo 24/7 phone access to a therapist, and a year of 1:1 therapy (also often group therapy), both of which start VERY concentrated (and then gradually begin to taper off as clients become more self-sustaining). So one may start of in therapy 5 days a week, with phone access 24/7, that by the end of the year is weekly, biweekly, or monthly therapy & phone access .

If you google DBT 24/7 phone coaching, with your location services turned on? You’ll get hits for clinics in your area that offer this “traditional” DBT model, instead of the modified version of DBT that is used with other disorders.

For seeeeerious SUPPORT, covering every area of your life, but especially focused on self destructive & relationship nuking behaviors? Very little is better than a “real” DBT program. Whether you actually have BPD, or “just” such an abusive childhood that you were never taught these skills in a supportive environment that allowed you to learn them.

***

So, whilst not an inpatient program? In many ways a good DBT program actually provides faaaaar more support, as you’re not in a “mars bubble” for a month or three focusing purely on stabilization… but in your own life with more access to professionals than you’d have whilst inpatient.